What Does the Bible Say about Disagreements in Marriage
Consider in the same way what Paul taught about how we should respond to an enemy. He said: Every wedding goes through difficult seasons. Whether it`s money issues, family conflicts, work stress, or just the changes we experience as human beings, life can cause tension. These tensions often turn into fights and as all brides and grooms know, disagreements can go from a little tense to explosive if we are not careful. So how can we prevent this from happening? Well, it turns out that there is a divine way to fight with your spouse! And Pastor Todd Wagner of Watermark Community Church is here to tell us the 4 things to remember when fighting with our spouse. In addition to being a pastor, Todd`s true expertise on the subject comes from the fact that he has been married for over 30 years and has raised 6 children with his lovely wife Alex. So what does He recommend to keep your disagreements God-centered? Who would you invite to help your wedding? They should be wise people who can understand you and walk with Christ, preferably a married couple. Solomon said, “For lack of leadership, a nation falls, but many counselors ensure victory” (Proverbs 11:14). And the Lord spoke to Moses and said, “Speak to the people of Israel and say, `I am the Lord, your God.
You will not act as they did in the land of Egypt where you lived, and you will not act like them in the land of Canaan, where I am taking you. You must not change their statuses. You will follow my rules, you will keep my statuses and you will walk in them. I am the Lord your God. You must therefore respect my statutes and my rules; if a man makes them, he will live by them: I am the Lord. . Matthew 18:16-17 – We hope that the mediation of one or two other Christians will solve the problem, but if this is not the case, then the Bible says that we should take the matter to the Church. Perhaps the participation of the whole Church will bring the culprit to reason. In the strongest marriages, husband and wife share a deep meaning.
Not only do they “understand” each other, but they also support each other`s hopes and aspirations and build a sense of purpose in their lives together. That`s what I really mean when I talk about honoring and respecting each other. Very often, it is the failure of a marriage to do so, which causes the husband and wife to find themselves in endless and useless rounds of arguments or to feel isolated and alone in their marriage. Having seen countless videotapes of couples in trouble, I can guarantee you that most arguments are really not about whether the lid of the toilet is high or low, or in turn taking out the garbage. There are deeper and hidden problems that fuel these superficial conflicts and make them much more intense and hurtful than they would otherwise be. But avoid stupid controversies, genealogies, disagreements and quarrels about the law, because they are not profitable and worthless. Since it is inevitable to disagree in a relationship, how do your attempts at reparation sound? Are you willing to accept your husband`s attempts to defuse the situation? Or will you probably reject them? To please God, you must follow His will, no matter what your partner does. You must believe that you can please God no matter how others act.1. John 3:14-18 – If you see your brother in need and do not give what is necessary, you have no love. Genesis 3:12-13 – When the first couple sinned, God confronted them. The man blamed the woman and the woman blamed the snake. Both had been wrong, but neither was willing to admit their wrongdoing.
This is typical. Even if we are guilty, we want others to bear or share the blame – “Look what they did!” How does God call you to sacrifice to resolve conflicts or potential conflict in marriage? Does it call you to renounce a friendship that has a bad influence or causes discord? Does it call on you to help more at home, to take more care of the children, to participate in something your spouse likes, but not to spend more time with your spouse instead of doing something else? How can you demonstrate Christ`s sacrifice in your marriage? Victims are the secret to conflict resolution, while selfishness is the catalyst for conflict. It doesn`t require an overwhelming romantic “feeling” that swells and can`t help but be expressed. We discuss love through the choice of will. The Gottman Institute has what they call the four horsemen of disagreement: in the absence of biblical reasons for divorce, Christians should never do anything that seems to justify or lead to separation or divorce. Instead, they should consciously express and promote engagement. “I really love you. I want to solve our problems, and I want us to have a good marriage. Don`t think you have to make a final decision when an issue is first raised.
Take time for yourself and your spouse to reflect on what was discussed. If your first discussion doesn`t lead to a solution, ask for time to think about it. Promise to talk about it later. You`re more likely to come to a rational conclusion, and your spouse will know you`ve taken the matter seriously. Although this was originally said about a brother in sin, it certainly applies to sin or conflict within marriage. God made us part of the Body of Christ, including our marriage. When a natural body is sick, it often leads to fever. With fever, the body recruits itself simply to bring healing.
Similarly, a Christian marriage needs the help of the body to stay healthy. Marriages should always function as part of the Body of Christ, but in difficult times they need even more of the Body`s help. Of course, you should never want your spouse to commit fornication, it follows that everyone should sincerely hope that the marriage will continue. When serious disagreements accumulate in the marriage and are not resolved, one or both companions do not choose to show love. If a couple has long-standing and deep-rooted problems, a solution must include mutual agreement on what they want to do differently in the future in order to change behavior. You need a specific program or action plan, maybe even a written program. A husband often derives a sense of accomplishment and accomplishment from his work. He receives a regular salary and possibly occasional promotions. But the woman works day after day at home with the family. If the husband does not express appreciation, the wife should always find a sense of accomplishment in seeing her children develop and, above all, knowing that God has pleased.
But she has a much greater sense of security and is needed when her husband tells her that he appreciates what she does. Who are your wise advisors to help you achieve victory? Have you and your boyfriend thought about this question? Are you ready to allow the Church to participate in your marriage as Christ desires? We will begin by praying together for tender hearts and wisdom. We are committed to coming together in a spirit of humility and reconciliation. As a marriage team, we recognize that we must consider the health of our marriage more important than our individual interests. With his eyes wide open, Ben Franklin advised those considering marriage: “Keep your eyes wide open and semi-closed before marriage. Some think love happens and can`t be controlled – you “fall in love” or aren`t in love. So, if a couple “doesn`t love each other anymore,” nothing else can be done but divorce. But when we realize that we can choose to love, we realize that we can put love into a marriage. And if we don`t put it in, we sin. When looking for counselors, the couple would ideally agree on who to turn to. But in times when one partner doesn`t want help, the other partner may still need to seek help to obey Christ`s teaching in Matthew 18. .